10 August 2016, Alternative Information Center http://www.alternativenews.org
(Israel)
Written by Tair Kaminer
After spending 155 days in Israeli
prison, Tair Kaminer reflects on her decision to refuse serving in the Israeli
army. She is the longest serving female conscientious objector in Israeli
history.
I sat in jail for 155 days. I sat
in jail because I decided I wasn't prepared to serve in the army. I was not
prepared to serve in an army that oppresses the Palestinian people, an army
that allows our government to preserve the fragile security situation in the
western Negev, an army that participates in besieging Gaza, an army that every
day defends settlers by violating Palestinian rights.
My choice not to serve was
essentially very personal. I don’t know
how long these thoughts simmered before
I had the courage to speak. Yes, I would say, I don’t know if I will enlist or
not. I heard from a young age that there are those who refuse and I understood
that I would have to consider this. So, I said again and again that I was
unsure which path to choose. In the meantime, I answered pre-enlistment orders
so as not to “shut any doors.” I think I wanted to be convinced. I hoped that
as I approached enlistment, I would understand that it is possible to make a
disconnect; that perhaps from up close the black flag flying over enlistment
would go away; that my gut feeling telling me it is forbidden to take part
would disappear and I would see that it is logical and simple to take part in
the craziness. I wanted everything to disappear so that I could continue to
participate in my society in a quiet manner and enlist with a peaceful mind.
Yet as time passed, the exact
opposite happened. When I met and saw the security situation's impact on Sderot
[a town inside present-day Israel, less than a mile away from the Gaza Strip]
and when I fell in love with the city and its people, my desire to give in to
apathy dissipated.
I believe one of the reasons I was
unable to say for a long time that I refused to enlist was fear: fear of
hearing people’s responses, fear of losing friendships, fear of doing something
so different from others. Yet more than anything, it was a fear of speaking, to
say things that people do not wish to hear, to break a holy consensus like
“everyone's army.”
But, as time passed and friend
after friend enlisted, I had already reached the understanding that I would not
enlist. I understood this was not enough for me. It couldn't end there. I felt
that I needed to do something. The apathy of those around me, the closed ears
and eyes, the disconnect that people make between their opinions, values and
actions made me feel an obligation to raise the topic. I wanted those around me
to ask themselves questions and perhaps feel a bit of discomfort about what
they are doing.
I already knew that I wasn't only
refusing to enlist: I was also going to try to initiate discussion around the
issue. I searched for words. Words are so important when you do something that
is not only personal. I didn't choose to refuse because it is what comfortable
or right for me. I did it because I believe this is how a person who is
unwilling to accept cruelty and inequality amongst people should act, how a
person unwilling to accept the oppression of any other person should act.
As I searched for words, I
discovered two things that changed me forever. The first is terrible: it is the
ugly truth, it is all those things I sort of knew were happening, things I
heard about here and there, but did not explore in depth. Shocking things that
you can't hear about in the media because it would perhaps break through the
silence. Things I had difficulty believing, even from a critical position
because this truth is too painful. Things that sometimes cause you to want to
go back to unawareness because it was much easier. Yet the moment you become
exposed to these things it is much more difficult to stay apathetic.
The second thing is amazing,
positive, and optimistic. I discovered people who are not willing to accede to
evil and cruelty, are not willing to close their eyes, people who believe in
equality amongst people and struggle for it. They struggle for an improvement,
for change, real security and peace. How amazing is the feeling of being part
of something good. How empowering it is to know you aren't alone in the
struggle. How good it is to know that there are lots of people struggling every
day for everyone.
I wish to take advantage of this
platform to say a huge thank you to all of these people. First of all, thank
you for being people of peace, no matter who and where you are, you take great
responsibility and struggle to repair the world. And second of all, thank you
for supporting me, guiding me and helping me to take this step and be part of
this important struggle.
There are no two sides here – at
least not from my perspective. There are only human beings that have been
killed for too many years and are fighting instead of living. The terror is
everyone's and the solution – which will come – will be from everyone. There
will be no one-sided solution. There are no winners in wars. We must put an end
to this.
Jews and Arabs. Women and men,
Mizrachis and Asheknazis, Ethiopians, Russians, immigrants, refugees... it
doesn't matter. Nothing matters. We need to unite on one basis. People,
humanity is the answer to everything, nothing else – and this of course is not
a novel or original idea, but something I believe has been forgotten these
days.
We are all first of all human
beings, and it is in this understanding that we can find the answer.
This article was originally published in Hagada Hasmalit and translated to English by
the Alternative Information Center.
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